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Mrs. Caudle's Lectures

Mrs. Caudle's Lectures image
Parent Issue
Day
19
Month
May
Year
1845
Copyright
Public Domain
OCR Text

We givc bolow oneofthe best of these celebrated Iectures by Mrs. Caudle, from the London Punch, which will bö found to be very rich. The editor of the Philadelphia U. S. Gazettc, himself, we believe a masón, prefaces tlie publication of it in bis; paper by inviting the attontion of theBrethren of the Order of Free Masons to its perusal, by sayingthat probably some of thein may hace a recollec(07i of a similar discoursen :as like causes,' they say, 'produce like effects:' 4Nov, Mr. Caudle - Mr. Caudle, I say; oh! you can't be alcep nlready, Iknow - Now what I mean to say is this; tbere's no use, none at all in our hoving any distúrbanos about the matter: but, ot last my mind'smade up, Mr. Caudle; I shall leave you. Either I know all you'vc aeen doing to-night, or to-morrow morning Í quit tho houèi. No, no: íhore's anend of the murriage state, I think - an end of nll confidence between man and wife - if a husband's to have secrets and keep 'em all to himself. Pretty secreis ihey must be, when his own wife can't know 'em. Not fit for any decent person to know, I'm sure, if that's the case. Now, Caudle, don't let us quarrel; there's a goed soul, teil me what'sitall about? - A pack of nonsense, I dare say;sti!l - not that I care much about it - still, 1 should like to know. There's a riear. - Shi Oh don't teil me there's nolhing in Ijl kn9v better. I'm not a fooi, Mr. Caudle; I know there'á a great deal in it. Now, Caudle, just teil me a little bit of t. l'tn sure I'dtell you anything. You now I would. Well? 'Caudle, you're enough to vex a saint! Now, don't you think you're going to sleep; because you're not. Do you sup)ose l'd ever sufier you to be made a maon, if I didn't suppose I was to know the ecret too? Not that it is a.ything to cnow, I dare say, and that's why I'm deermined to know it. 'But now, what it is: oh yes, there can )o no doubt. The secret is, to ill-use poor women, to tyrannise over 'em, to make em yourslaves, cspecially your wives. [tmust be someíhing of the sort, or you wouldn't be ashamed to have it known. - What's right and proper never need be done in secret. It's an insult toa woman for a man to be a free masón and let hls wife know nothing of it. But, poor soul! she's sure to know it someho'y- for nice husbands they all make. Yes, yes: a part of the secret is to ihink betler of all the world than their own wives and families. I'm sure men have quite enough to care for - that is, if they act properly - tocare for them, they have at home. - They can't have much care to spare for the world besides.'And 1 su))ose they cali you Brother Caudie? A pretly brother, indeed! Going nnd dressing yourselfup in an apron like a lurnpike man, for that's what you look like. And I should like 10 know wliat the apron's for? There must be something in it not very respectable, I'm. sure. Well, 1 only wis! I was Qucen for a day or two. I'd put an end to Pree masonry and all such trumpery I know. 'Now, come, Caudie; don't let's quarrel. Eh! you're not jn pain, dear? - What's it all about? VVhat are you lying laughing there, al? But I'm a fooi to trouble my head about you. 'And you're not going to let me know the secret, eh? You mean to say - you're not? Now, Caudie, you know itsa hard matter !o put me in a passion - not tnat I care about the secret itself, no,I wouldn't give a button to know it, for it's all nonsense, Pm sure. It isn:t the secret I care about; i's the slight, Mr. Caudie; ii's ihe studied insult timt a man pnys to his wife, when he thinks of going through the world keeping something to himself which he won't let her know. Man and wife are one, indeed! I should like to know how that can be when a man's a masón - when he keeps a secret that sets him and his wife apart? Ha, you men makc all the hnvs, and so you take good care to have all the best of 'em to yourselves; otherwise a woman ought to be allowed a divorce when a man becomesa masón. When he's got asort of corner cupboard n his heart - a secret place in his mind - thal his poor wife isn't allowed to rummoge! 'Caudie you shan' close your eyes for a week - no you shan't - unless you teil me some of it. Come t here's a good creature; there'sn love. I'm sure, Caudie, I wouldn't refuseyou anyihing - and you know it, or ought know it by this time. I only wish I had a secret! To wliom should I think of confiding it, bul to my dear husband? I should be miserable to keep it to myself, and you know t. Now, Caudie!lWas tliere ever such a man! A man indeed! A brute! yes, Mr. Cnudle, an unfeeling, brutal creature, when you might oblige me, and you won't. l'm sure I don't object to your beinga mason, not at all, Caudle; I nare say it's a very good thing; I dare say it is - it'sonly your mak ing a secret of it that vexes me. - But you'll teil me - you'll teil your own Marga ret? You won'l! You're a wretch Caudle. 'But I know why; oh, yes, I can teil. The fact is you're asbamed to let me know what a (ooi they've been mak ing of you. That's it. You, at your time of life - the father of a. family. 1 should be ashamed ofmyself, Cnudle. 'And I suppose you'll be goingto what yon cali your Lodge every night, now. Lodge, indeed! Pretty place it must bs, where ihey dun't adrnit women. Nice goings on, I dare say. Th on you cali one nnother brethrcn. Brethren! I'm sure you'd relations enough, you didn't want any more. 'But I knów That all the maronry'o ubout. Il'sonlv anéxense to get away from your wives and families, that you may feast and drink togellicr, ihat's all. That's the secret. And ío abuso woinen - ns if they tbey were inferior animáis, and not be i rusted. That's the secret; and notbing else. 'Now, Caudle. don't let us quarrel. - Yes, I know you're in pain. Still Caudle. my love; Cnudle! Denrest, I say! Caudle! Caud- ' 'I recollect nothing more,' says Cnudle, 'for here, thank Providence! I feil nsleep.'

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Subjects
Signal of Liberty
Old News