Miscellany: Storming Quebec

As the conqueet of Canada scems to have been a Icading object in our lwo dr.fensire wars wilh Grent Britain, ve would respect fully cali the nltention of all :lie truly valiant, and of all whose patriotisni is not "run" in a pair of bullet inoulds, to the present juncture of afl'airs al Quebeo. We are firtnly persunded that that redoubtable city might be easily overeóme, f a well arranged dcscent were tnade upon it. without a momont's dolay. And if Capt. Polk would but commjssion us fo fit out that greatlazy leviathan, the Oh o, which lies basking its crocodilo back. in Boston harbor, and permit us to man and arm it with such men and arms as we wot of, we would engage to reduce that American Gibralter in ten days, without the loss of a single drop of blood. W'ho cares for Wolfo and Montcalm? Brave men they were, in a certain soit of fashion: but they did "nol know any thing about war;" about overcoming encmics; .they had not the gospel knaele of taking a city. Thdr tactics and tools were all short-sighted and short-bitted. The difiiculty with them and all their kind was this - they could not get at the encmy. - They pushed thousands of their foes into eternity on the point of their bayonets; - their cannon fenced the plains of Abraham, with winrows of dead men; but they never killed an encmy. Enemics are as immortal as any malignant spirits, and you might as well hope to shoot sin stone dead, as to shoot an enemy. There is but one way given under heaven whorcby one can kill an cnemy, and that is, by fffUtiitg coah of fire upon hcud; that does the business for him at once. Lie in wait for him, and when you catch him in trouble, faint from hunger or thirst, or shivcring with cold, spring upon him like a good Samaritan, with your hands, eyes, longue and heart full of good gifts. Feed him, give him drink, and warm him with clothing and words of kindness; and he is done for. You have killed an enemy and made a friend at one shot.Now, as we were saying, we should like to be put in command of the Oliio for thirty days. We would trundle out all that was made of iron, except the anchor, cable and marlinspikes - we would not save a single cutlass, though it had been domesticated to a cheese knife. Then the way we would lade down the huge vessel to the water's edge with food andcpvëring for human beings, sliould be a marvel to the carrying trade. The very ballast should be something good to eat. - Lel's sce - yes - we have il! The ballast should be round clams, or the yeal quahaugs - heavy as cast ron and capital for roasting. Then we' would bwild a long up, filling every square inch with well cured provisions. We would have a hogshcad of bacon mounted into every porthole, each of which should discharge fifty hams a minute, when the ship was brought into action. And the state room should be filled with well made garments, and the taut cordnge, and the long tapering spars should be festooned with boys' ackets and trowsers. Then when there should be no more room for another codIsh or herring, or sprig of catnip, we would run up the white flag of peace, ind, ere the moon changed, it should wave n triumph in the harbor of Qucbec. - We would anchor under the silent cannon of lier Gibralter, and open our balteries upon the hungry and thousands, begging bread on the hot ashes of heir dwellings. We would throw as many hams into the city, in twenty-four lours, as.there were bombshells and canion-bnlls thrown into Keil by the besiegng armies. VVe would barricade the ow, narrow streets, where live the low Tnd hungry people, with loaves of bread. We wouid throw up a breastwork clear i round the market place, of barrels of lour, pork and beef; and in the middle we would raise a stack of salmón and codfish as large as a small Methodist meeting ïouse, with a steeple lö it, anJ a bell in the steeple; and the bell should ring lo all ho city bells; and the city bolls should ring to all the people to come to market and buy provisions, "without rnoney and without price." And white .flags should every where wave in the breeze, on the vanes of steeples, on mast-heads, on flagstnve.s along the embattlcd walls, on the end of willow-sticks, borne by the laughng, romping', troopingchildren. All the :)lood-colorcd drapery of war should bow and blush before tlie st.iinless standard of )eocp, and generatiuns of Anglo-Saxons should remember, with mutual fclicitalions-, Tin; Conui.kst of tuk Wjiitk Flao; or, The Slorming of Qucbec. -