The Two Mail Carriers
Two l.irge operators 11) the mail carrying business once ft II in company, each haviiig a perfect monopoly of the business in nis own di-trici, wheii the following dialogue took plore : Johv Bull. Hilo, Juck, yoj're dropping vour new-ptpers. Jonathan. Fum, they ain't wmth mindiu', old Johnny. There want but a dozen of 'em, and tliem were pakl for, 3 cents in advance. I don't lose notbin', no how. J.B. Oyoiidon't! Well how rrtuch dies you mako carryitig them h(Hpty baas ? J. Mnke, I don'i make notbin' no how. It costs me a clenn half a million a. ear cut of pocket. Out tlien ii's clieap at tliat, for you sec when I want ;i bit of an office or so, all ïhem ere fellows what oprns and distributes my leiters Stands rendy to vote fot me, and so I mnke it op in tnrifis and revenues. J. B. You do, do ynu ? Ila ! ha ! Thnl's up lo the tricks tliey acense me of. But you see the low sort of pcplc about me. sucli as they cali the. masses - nnd half of Ihem never writ n letter in their ves - maiie such a bellowing nbout ihap postiige I was obliged to put down the price to a penny a le:ter and carry the npwsonpers lor noihing. J. ' Phew ! Pliew ! "Thy didn't tho'l J. B. Yes they did, and it is n't 80 bnd neither. I makes a clean profit nf $4,000,000 o year, which isn't s bad to nn old feller like me tlmt has a power of interest to pay. And then it iriakes fhem masses as happy as Urks. Them a-; cn't wriie makes pot-hooks and seiids little hits of caüco and keepakes, and locks of 'air, just to covrespond, like, vvith thtir di-tant iViends. J. Yuii don't ány so ! I ax less for carryin' letters ihan it'.s worth, hut ihe 'larnel critters n tny diggins won't send â x ir. niv bags il' ihey can possibly finda neiglibor goin' the same ruad, and I been obligfid 10 sue 'eni Tor wriiin' ellers on nevvs)njprs and all sorts of hribby trii-ks, and put a fine of a cent and a half extra pogtage on all transient newspnpers, and now I can hardl) get as many lelters as 1 cany bugs. J. B. Ha ! ha ! You're not so cute there, old Yankee, as you might be. - Sliutting out lettt-rs al 5 and 10 cenis s n't ihe vvoy to make the best living. - Wlial could you afFord to can-y a leiter Por from one end of your district to the olher, ff you had as many as you wunted to cairy ? J. V liy, for a cent or half a cent may h . J. B. Then why don't you try it, hand see f you 'ave to sue people liany '.onger for making marks on aèwspnpers! J. Fum ? oÃd codgor, l'll calkalutc a liitle on tliat. Puffl Puff! Ph ! Chronotype. (L= They havo a new kind of Secret Society t ürariH Rapids, of whl'.-h we find the following hieroglyphiáà in one of the iapers of that place : M. M. P. - Mr. Kircs, Grand Tnst -Her of U. S. A., visitpri this pifien last week .mil organizad ' Mech.'inics' Mutual Protpction, No. 1. Grand Rapids,' and insiallcd the following as nfficers : lluberi llüton, VV. S. P.; VV. [ Blakely, VV. J. P.; A. B. Turner, V. R. S. : L. Alw-.le.-, W. F. S.; K.S. Sliopm'iker, VV. T.; D. Burnnt, VV. P.; IÃ. C. Putnam, I. P.J Jeseo Havens, O. P. (tyTIiere have been rumors of apprunching peac-o With Mexico: tmt a!l ao ounts now concur n stating t hat appearnces are decidedly against it. Ther" s r,o doubt Mr. Polk ia anxious it: ut the Mexicana scom determined to let im gK it in his own chosen way - by onquering it, if he can.
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Subjects
Signal of Liberty
Old News