Miscellany: Stealing Melons

I always took picasure in having a neat garden. I felt larger tlian comrnon if I succeeded ih raising cucumbers earHerthanmy neighbors ; as if nature favored me especially. I had the earliest nnd best kind of fruits. But I was greatly perplexed for a long time with thieving boys. Almost every night in tho season of fruit, my garden was visited, trees damaged, and rich ílowers trampled down. I tried various ways to protect my grounds, - liad watch dogs, but the y were shot or poisoned - set traps but they never caught anything except now and then one of my own cats. As John Hobbs says. "Trapi. every ono kftjwsaro no sifegiard 10 ap pies, Big dogs asldom bite ono, and gans never shoot ; The chivnlrous school boy each obstacle grnpplcs, And never desists lül lie pockels tho fruit." Finally I built a wall of solid masón work around my garden ; but that did not answer. lt was only by accident that I found out the way to save one's fruit ; and noticing in the papers divers cautions to young rouges, I think it worth while to publish somewhat of my experience. I have come to the conclusión that boys ore as much influenced by malice as by - love of good cating in sucli thieving. If they know a man to be close-fisted, they will wrenchopenhisfingersin some way. When I was a Freshman at the Universlty, people about the college complained very much of their fruit being stolen by the students, and only one man escaped - and he was the only one who sent up a cart load of excellent npples and distributed them among the college boys. I might have known if I had thought of my own boyhood, that the way to manage boys is to treat them kindly. - They have a natural code of honor which forbids them to do him an injury who shows a regard for them. lt is no compliment to a man that boys love to vex him. lt is a pretty sure sign that he has not any soul to spoak of. "What do you say, Joel shall we come the grab over them meions to night1? - lt's going to be as dark as thunder. Old Swipes will be snoring like ten men, before midnight." "I should like the meions well enough but we have to get over that pesky wall and' "Oh, pshaw, Jo! I know a place where itis easy getting over. I know the way like a book. Come, Jo ! will you go it?" Now, I dislike extremely to be an eves dropper, and I usuallly convey myseif elsewhere, rather than allow my ears to be a highway for words not intended for me. J3ut the conversation somately concerned my meions, which ] had taken some pains to ralse, that I kept quiet and listened to the whole plan of the young scapcgraces - so that I might make it somewhcat bothcrsomc forthem. Ned proposed to get over the wall on the south side by the great pear tree, and cut directly across to the summer houso - justnortli of which were the meions. Jo was a clever, thick-lipped fellow, loved good fruit exceedingly, that is to say, as well as he did to lounge in an opening in summer time in a soft sunny ilace, and smoke cigars, and obstinate as an ass. ífit hirn once starled to do a thing and hewould stick to it, like a mud turtle to a negro'a toe, in spite of kicks or whatnot, till hc had accomplishcd it. - The other was a dare-devil - didn't care so much for the melon3 as for the fun of jetting them.I made all neeutul preparaüons tor the visit ; put in brarts pretty thick in scanting along the wall where they intended joing over ; uncovered a large water vat that had been filled sometime, from vhich ia dry weathcr I was accustomed o water my garden ; dug a trench afoot cep or so, and placed slender boards over it, which wereslightly covered with irt, and jusf beyond ihem some little cords, fastened tightly, some cight inches Vom the ground. 1 picked aü the meions I cared to preserve, leaving pumpcins and squnshes nbout the size and bhape of meions in their places. Tliey wero right in supposing that it vould bo dark; but missed it a lillle in supposing "Old Swipes," as thoy called me, would be abed, though. Tho old nan loves fun as well as they ; and a ule sprinklirVg of groy haira has not nllcgether sobe red him. Í have the honer of being liko Washington in one resp0Ct - I can laugh as heartüy as anv mortal man. I beliove I can roll in a pereet ecstacy ; but as the old negro' said jf uur counlry's Father, he did all his aughing inside," so do I. One would hink "Old Swipes," in the last agonics. o sec Him in a fit of hissilent laughler. expset 1 om somowhat unfortunaio in being pernlitted lo haveenjoyment of this sort without hanging out tliesign as others do. fur 1 am an old bachelor, and am disposed to believe ihat if I liad a Hulenore of an India rubberly phiz, I should ïave been married some forty times ere his, I mean I should have had so many opportunilies or more, - as it is, Ichabod S.vipes, Esq., witha flourishing business, and elegant estublishmenf, and some ten housand do'lars, rendy monev, never had a dfïcided nibble in the pond matrimonial. What olse could bo the reason I cannol magine, for truly I nm not a bad specimen of human nature. But - 'Whist, Jo! Don't your hear somohing?" I ihink very probably theyrdid; for ihe words were hardly out of his mouth when there was a sound as of forcibly tearing fustian. "Get olTmy coat-tail," whispered Joe. 'There goes ore flap, as sure ns . Why got ofF Ned." And Ned was off- and one leg of his breeches, too, nearly, as I supposed, for he was ah ing and oh ing, and was ail the time telling Joo he believed there were nnils in the side of the wal!, for something had scratched him tremendously, and torn liis breeches all to pieces. Joo sympathized with him, for he said half his coat was hanging up there somewhero. The boys were more in earncst than ever, thinking that. I had driven nails there on purpose to injure people and to tcar thoir clothes. "The oíd close-fisted bloat begrudges a littlc fruit." They started on, hand in hand ; for Ned believed he knew the wny. They had gotten beyjnd tbc trees a lmlo, when something went swash ! swash ! into the water vnt - "Gosh," was the first exclamation I heard after that, and cougliing and sneezing as though som? one had the horse distemper - and then By - by - thun - thunder ! That water smells ralher old! Ned was a little disposed to cut dirt for home, but the other's puppy to-a-rootativeness, was too much excited lo listen to any such proposilion. They thought to stop a little time and listen for fear they had roused some one by their floundering in the water - and be drained of their extra moisture somewhal. I thought I should burst forth into a roar of laughter as I listened to their whispering surprise - at the sudden raelation of a cistern of water there. 'Never heard any thing about it be fore ; how odd that we shüuld both tumble into it." ('The old fellow must have fixcd it un purpose to drown people in." ♦'They concluded that Ihey had nol been heard, and shortly pushed on again for meions. They presently perceived there was something unstable about theground they were cautiously passing over. They whisperéd to each other what'Icould not distinctly hear - something about traps, and starled to run to get beyond this suspicious footing. Both were caught by the cords and headlong ihey went into a heap of briers and thistles and the like, placed there for their especial accommodalion. "Such a gitten' up stairs! " muttered one. "Nettles and thistles- by Jemima Scott! how they prick ! " They determined to go on more cautiously. ♦'How thick they are Joe! Como here. There's more than a dozen fat ones right icre !" Down they sat in the midst of them, and seemed to conclude that ihey had jotten pay for their mishaps. "Horo, Joe, take this muskmelon. -sn't it a hunker! Slash inlo it!" "It cuts tromendous hard; Jim. Jim - it's a squash." "No it isn't," said the other. "It's a new kind. Old Swipe3 sent to Rhode sland for the seed." "Well.the old chap got sucked in thal's all." "iïere let me gouge into this watermelon - there goes half a dollar ! I've broke my knife." "If 1 did not know it was a watermelon, I should say it was a pumpkin." What further they did, while I went to the stable and unmuzzled the dog, and ed him inlo the garden, I cannot say. That they took long steps, the onion bedu and flower plats revealed in the morning. I thought that the boys on the wholc, must conclude that they had paid dear for the whistle, for they had not tasted of a melón, got scjatched, dothes torn, wereas wet as drowned rats, and pretty essentially fiighlened - sothe next morning I sent invitations to all the young people in the villnge, to a feast of meions in the evening, parlicularly to Ned and Joo, on the principie of returning good for evil - and thinking ll.atpossibly t might be useful in the treatment of boys as well as men. My rooms we re crowded belimes with a bright eyedhrong. Old Swpes looked confoundedly our, I suppose. They would not have come, I presume, iad it not been that my nephew, a great avorile with them, was spending the uminer with me, for they obviously disked me, and 1 dont know why ihey hould do otherwise, for 1 had never noced them, or appeared towards them as hough they were worth noticing. I went into m' study, and soon such i wliirlwind of fun as they raised. - t was rich music - their silvery laugher. I was well paid for ihe evpense and rouble I had been at in raising the larjest, and best meions, by the rich sound )f iheir hilamus voices. It brought be"ore me the sunny days of my youth nnd !ts loved associations. Glorious days! - [ love to thiok of them. My meions were never disturbed again. The Receipt. - Don't be harsh to boys. Tretit them as though they wcre going to be men, honest, and true pressntly. Meet fun with fun, and don't forget them when your nicost fruit is ripe. Newspnper paragraphs, dog-traps, and frowns, are not so potent for preserving